We’ve all heard the phrase “keeping it real” tossed around in casual conversation, on social media, or even in the workplace. It’s often used as a justification for speaking bluntly or offering unsolicited opinions, with the notion that being direct and unfiltered is synonymous with being authentic. But here’s the thing—keeping it real does not necessarily mean that you are being authentic. In fact, in many cases, it can actually be a mask for something deeper: fear.
Let’s break it down. When people say they’re keeping it real, they’re often expressing their raw, unvarnished truth. But is it their truth or is it simply a defense mechanism? In many cases, it’s fear—fear of rejection, fear of being misunderstood, or fear of vulnerability. And rather than confronting these fears, some people use keeping it real as an excuse to hide behind blunt words or even meanness, thinking that their unfiltered behavior is some badge of honor.
The truth is, being blunt or harsh is not a sign of strength—it’s often a sign of insecurity. It’s easier to lash out or “tell it like it is” than it is to show vulnerability, especially when we’re afraid of how we might be perceived. What we don’t often realize is that this approach, while seemingly authentic on the surface, is actually inauthentic. It’s a way of pushing people away to avoid the discomfort of connection, honesty, and true self-expression. When we’re afraid to be vulnerable, we default to what feels safer—putting up walls, being overly defensive, or using words as weapons.
Authenticity is not about keeping it real with harshness; it’s about keeping it honest with vulnerability. True strength lies in showing up as your imperfect self, not hiding behind fear or defensiveness.
So, what’s the difference between keeping it real and being authentic? Authenticity comes from a place of self-awareness and acceptance. It’s about being honest with yourself and others, but also being compassionate, respectful, and open to connection. True authenticity doesn’t involve tearing people down; it’s about building bridges, even when we don’t have all the answers or feel unsure. Vulnerability plays a key role in authenticity—it’s the courage to show up as you are, flaws and all, without hiding behind walls of fear. Vulnerability takes strength because it’s about allowing yourself to be seen for who you really are, not what you think others want you to be.
So, next time you hear someone say they’re just keeping it real, ask yourself: Is this person speaking from a place of strength, or is there a hidden fear beneath the surface? True authenticity doesn’t require a mask. It’s about showing up, being vulnerable, and embracing your imperfections with grace—not with meanness. Because the real strength lies in letting people see you as you are, without fear or defensiveness.
